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In
Search of
Wile E. Coyote’s Little Umbrella
By W. David Jenkins III
Y’know, a year ago I really thought that we wouldn’t have to deal
with this anymore. I could’ve sworn that people couldn’t be suckered in
again, and But no. The ignorant and the
self-proclaimed righteous ones have clasped their hands like Thelma and Louise
in their support of the worst thing ever to stain Washington D.C. Yup, they've
hit the gas in a reckless effort to jump the Grand Canyon, somehow, and save the
world. Meanwhile, the rest of us are left to raise our little umbrellas over our
heads like Wile E. Coyote after slamming against the canyon floor in
anticipation of the huge rock plummeting towards him. What’s even worse, now
things have got me mixing metaphors! Where’s my
little umbrella? Oh my, my – things are not off to a good
start are they? In the short time since Diebold and Triad sat in for the Supreme
Court this election, the Bush gang and the future they promise look worse and
worse. Reality seems to be banging a bit louder on the front door of the White
House and it’s beginning to look like Bush Inc. is going to get hit from all
sides this second term and it looks like the forces of nature want to weigh in
as well. Let’s get out our little umbrellas and begin shall we?
After three days and some jabs over the
word “stingy,” the still-vacationing, accidental leader of the free world
managed to break away from “clearing brush” to make a three-minute statement
once he realized that nobody actually was going to “sue Mommy.” But,
instead of the media focusing on Bush’s lack of attention to the disaster and
any subsequent personal statements to the public (which one senior White House
official described as “freaky”), they zeroed in on whether or not America
was really as “stingy” as that nasty old Jan Egeland, UN
Under-Secretary General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief
Coordinator, alluded to – but never singled out America specifically.
Bush even remarked that Egeland was “very
misguided and ill informed.” Now there’s chutzpah
for you – from the guy who can’t find any WMDs in This
is also the same guy who, just before Christmas, warned us that organizations
like Save the Children and Catholic Relief Services would be getting hundreds of
millions of dollars less from the
United States because we forgot to armor a few HumVees. Bush was genuinely
indignant when he was addressing that particular world view of Gawd,
these people are unbelievable!
No, we’re not off to a very good start at all. We’ll now cough up $35
million for tsunami relief, $20 million pledged after
we were called stingy (but we’re going to be bilked for more than 40 million
for Bush’s “I got away with it
again” party on January 20). More recent reports say we’re going to
“pledge” $350 million now that the rest of the world’s generosity has made
us look bad enough. Of
course, we also “pledged” a huge chunk of change to the earthquake victims
in
Meanwhile, whining Republican
Dino Rossi wants a re-vote. That’s
right, you heard me. Because the guy who lost feels that the “uncertainty”
of the result would be bad for the state, there should be a re-vote. Okay, Dino,
I’ll make a deal with you… ·
Has anybody else noticed
that there seems to be an infiltration of America-hating liberals running around
And speaking of matters concerning the
media… ·
Why is it news to show row
upon row of dead children in Sri Lanka and other countries hit by the tsunami,
but identical pictures from Iraq or Afghanistan are taboo?
The fall of “ “Bring ‘em on.” “The Capture of Saddam.” “The June Sovereignty.” “The annihilation of Fallujah” All these great little fixer-uppers that
only brought more dead soldiers and innocent civilians. Can we get a plan
already, please? From the Cherry Pickin’ Christian Dept: ·
On December 29, the ·
Evangelical nut job, Dr.
James Dobson, has declared jihad against anyone in government who does not
support reclaiming the courts for Christ. He named six Democrats who will be
“put in the bull’s-eye” should they try any obstructionist behavior in
terms of Bush's judicial appointees. ·
Dr. James Kennedy of the
Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church recently was asked about the election and what
he thought the results should mean. The good reverend feels that God had
“intervened” in the election and had given Bush and the Cherry Pickers a
“moral mandate.” When he was asked about the millions of Americans who
either don’t share his “Christian” views or who don’t feel he and his
kind should have too much influence on policy, he remarked, “I couldn't care less.” He also pointed out that things better
change pretty quick because he didn’t know how long “God’s patience would
last.” ·
William J. Murray,
president of something called Religious Freedom Action Coalition, has begun a
grassroots organization called Now,
along with the Cherry Pickers, members of the far-right wing are pledging to
pummel the buh-geezuz out of poor Dubya if he not spend that “political
capital” in ways that suit them. Along with the appointment of radical
conservative judges to the federal bench, these little bench monkeys want the
rights of people hurt by corporate and medical negligence curtailed so as not to
infringe upon profits for those poor, victimized stockholders. Gay
rights, women’s rights, civil rights are also fair game for these reckless
ideologues who are hell-bent to do as much damage as they can in the name of
“moral values” before Bush becomes a lame duck – rather than the political
quack that he already is. And
they’re going to ram this stuff through by any means necessary and if anybody
dares to question their ethics (for lack of a better term) well, they've got
that problem taken care of too. Seems
as though ethics chairman, Joel Hefley is going to be out of a job soon. Joel
had the audacity to admonish Congressional sleaze-ball, Tom DeLay, for his
multiple, dubious shenanigans and his repeated abuse of power. Because of
Hefley’s independence in such matters, Denny Hastert has decided the ethical
standards presently governing our Congressmen's activities need to be lowered
and a more abuser-friendly chairman appointed. I
don’t know, it seems like four long years ago we were hearing how the adults
were now in charge and all that nonsense. But today the White House and Congress
resemble an elementary school playground more than anything else. “Yer
out!” “Am
not!” “Yer
it!” “Did
not!” “Who’s
your nanny?” “Shut
up!” “Yer
a cheapskate!” “Am
not!”
Y’know something tells me that Bush’s second term is going to be the
same kind of cake walk they told us Can
you hear that high-pitched whistling sound? Get
out your little umbrellas. |
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